I'm trying to build a wall.
"
I can say I hope it will be worth what I give up.
If I could stand up mean for all the things that I believe."- Santogold
I am a Hardy child. For those who haven't heard my story before, let me rephrase what that means. The youngest of three and the strongest, I've been a bit of a revolutionary my entire life. I love strong, I live fast, and I am completely devoted to optimism. My endurance has proved itself to be tremendous though I never took the time to appreciate that.
Yesterday afternoon, I checked into what has to be the worst motel in Los Angeles and curled into a ball on the oddly scented bed. I wept and asked my spirit to tell me what to do. I put an ear to my heart and I waited for it to speak. I asked for a miracle, I asked for patience...and I prayed for hope. I woke up this morning with the idea that everything was going to work out. That I was going to make it to whatever star I had been chasing since I was staring out at the barely visable stars that were above my head in North West, Philadelphia.
My muse also known as my older sister, RPM told me once to appreciate the size of my heart. It is a gift from God to be able to love so many and so much. At first I told her I didn't want to be that way and I wanted to turn it off. But when I truly thought about it...that's never been me. Love keeps me alive,it moves me in the directions I need to go into. I think with my heart and the brain follows.
I guess what I am trying to say is I am not giving up. Not yet. Stay tuned...
If I could stand up mean for all the things that I believe."- Santogold
I am a Hardy child. For those who haven't heard my story before, let me rephrase what that means. The youngest of three and the strongest, I've been a bit of a revolutionary my entire life. I love strong, I live fast, and I am completely devoted to optimism. My endurance has proved itself to be tremendous though I never took the time to appreciate that.
Yesterday afternoon, I checked into what has to be the worst motel in Los Angeles and curled into a ball on the oddly scented bed. I wept and asked my spirit to tell me what to do. I put an ear to my heart and I waited for it to speak. I asked for a miracle, I asked for patience...and I prayed for hope. I woke up this morning with the idea that everything was going to work out. That I was going to make it to whatever star I had been chasing since I was staring out at the barely visable stars that were above my head in North West, Philadelphia.
My muse also known as my older sister, RPM told me once to appreciate the size of my heart. It is a gift from God to be able to love so many and so much. At first I told her I didn't want to be that way and I wanted to turn it off. But when I truly thought about it...that's never been me. Love keeps me alive,it moves me in the directions I need to go into. I think with my heart and the brain follows.
I guess what I am trying to say is I am not giving up. Not yet. Stay tuned...
What I'm searching for
to tell it straight, I'm tryin to build a wall
Walking by myself
down avenues that reek of time to kill
If you see me keep going
be a pass by waver
Build me up, bring me down
just leave me out you name dropper
Stop tryin to catch my eye
I see you good you forced faker
Just make it easy
You're my enemy you fast talker
Chorus:
I can say I hope it will be worth what I give up
If I could stand up mean for all the things that I believe
What am I here for
I left my home to disappear is all
I'm here for myself
Not to know you
I don't need no one else
Fit in so good the hope is that you cannot see me later
You don't know me
I am an introvert an excavator
I'm duckin' out for now
a face in dodgy elevators
Creep up and suddenly
I found myself
an innovator
Change, change, change,
I want to get up out of my skin
tell you what
if I can shake it
I'm 'a make this
something worth dreaming of
to tell it straight, I'm tryin to build a wall
Walking by myself
down avenues that reek of time to kill
If you see me keep going
be a pass by waver
Build me up, bring me down
just leave me out you name dropper
Stop tryin to catch my eye
I see you good you forced faker
Just make it easy
You're my enemy you fast talker
Chorus:
I can say I hope it will be worth what I give up
If I could stand up mean for all the things that I believe
What am I here for
I left my home to disappear is all
I'm here for myself
Not to know you
I don't need no one else
Fit in so good the hope is that you cannot see me later
You don't know me
I am an introvert an excavator
I'm duckin' out for now
a face in dodgy elevators
Creep up and suddenly
I found myself
an innovator
Change, change, change,
I want to get up out of my skin
tell you what
if I can shake it
I'm 'a make this
something worth dreaming of
Comments
The beautiful thing about having an open loving heart that in the end good people gravitate to you and will begin to protect you from knucklehead people and situation that is not good for you.
You are a gift to this world just the way you are.
great post. ^_^
you will grow strong
...up up and away.