Phantom, always.
"I can see you in my sleep
Every dream, you're haunting me
All the anger and lines of sight
I can't tell I'm in your eyes
Never once is my mind released
I can't breathe, I can't believe
God knows it's always something
When I can feel you coming
And every move I make in time and space
I know you're there, in the shadows
And every burning night I try to shake
I know you're there, I feel you there
Always"
- Kenna "Phantom Always"
If I could take the tears of the past few months, I could replenish the dead sea. I've got another shot at love, it's resting it's frame next to me at night. I run to it, stopping every few yards to turn back. I know you've moved on, but in my mind and heart I know you still care. It's been a weird time for us; arguments take the place of words we don't know how to say. You don't know how to reach me and I'm so disconnected from the face I knew so well. You get uneasy when you feel my heart tearing, I cry because I don't know what else to do. Whatever I say is the wrong thing...whatever you think is a cold thing.
We cannot be friends. The two that could never be apart now can't be within a foot of each other. With each day, we evaporate a bit more. There will be a day when I will hear your name and it will be like hearing a song on the radio and for the life of you, you can't remember the lyrics. You know you should know it, but something keeps you from finding the words.
Whenever I think of those nights I cried for you...whenever I think of those days I longed for you. I remember you making out,hanging out, and staying out and away from me. How you would scream when tears blotted my eyes and better judgment. I held my chest and screamed louder than the planes outside of my window. I called for you, I felt you, but you were no where to be found. Disheveled and unraveling I repeated the same steps every day, every night.
But everyday, my strides grew longer. Every second my tears came less frequently. Though it still burns when you come to mind, I can still stand and acknowledge that you aren't right for me. You will never be.
I loved you...but the I that loved you is apart of the me I no longer am. If you should need me, I'll be there. For now, I'll sink into the shadows. Apart of who you were, apart of what you became.
-G
Every dream, you're haunting me
All the anger and lines of sight
I can't tell I'm in your eyes
Never once is my mind released
I can't breathe, I can't believe
God knows it's always something
When I can feel you coming
And every move I make in time and space
I know you're there, in the shadows
And every burning night I try to shake
I know you're there, I feel you there
Always"
- Kenna "Phantom Always"
If I could take the tears of the past few months, I could replenish the dead sea. I've got another shot at love, it's resting it's frame next to me at night. I run to it, stopping every few yards to turn back. I know you've moved on, but in my mind and heart I know you still care. It's been a weird time for us; arguments take the place of words we don't know how to say. You don't know how to reach me and I'm so disconnected from the face I knew so well. You get uneasy when you feel my heart tearing, I cry because I don't know what else to do. Whatever I say is the wrong thing...whatever you think is a cold thing.
We cannot be friends. The two that could never be apart now can't be within a foot of each other. With each day, we evaporate a bit more. There will be a day when I will hear your name and it will be like hearing a song on the radio and for the life of you, you can't remember the lyrics. You know you should know it, but something keeps you from finding the words.
Whenever I think of those nights I cried for you...whenever I think of those days I longed for you. I remember you making out,hanging out, and staying out and away from me. How you would scream when tears blotted my eyes and better judgment. I held my chest and screamed louder than the planes outside of my window. I called for you, I felt you, but you were no where to be found. Disheveled and unraveling I repeated the same steps every day, every night.
But everyday, my strides grew longer. Every second my tears came less frequently. Though it still burns when you come to mind, I can still stand and acknowledge that you aren't right for me. You will never be.
I loved you...but the I that loved you is apart of the me I no longer am. If you should need me, I'll be there. For now, I'll sink into the shadows. Apart of who you were, apart of what you became.
-G
Comments
I'll tell you this though...the deepest, most fulfilling love you can ever have, and frankly need, to endure and to create a lasting, healthy relationship with anyone...is the love you must have for yourself. Nurture that, and the rest, I believe will come.
It's the knowing of that, that keeps me warm every night when I climb into a bed with only myself for comfort.
Hang in there, Buttercup. Or are you Mint Julep? I can never remember.
I'm a firm believer that happiness is just around the corner, you just have to drag yourself to it if need be. I love myself very much, I just hate that my mind moves quicker than my heart at times. Strong as I am, I still have so many soft spots.
*insert Dr. Evil voice* We're not so different, you and I....
We've got the same makeup, I just turned mine to war paint. You are the healer and I'm the warrior...together we'll always be afloat. As long as I have you, I know what love is and what it should feel like. I admire you so much and if I had to draw a diagram of the perfect woman that I strive to be like, it would be you. From Pampers to Walkers, you and I must never part. <3
-Buttercup or Peanut Butter Cups.